Review of “Starf*cker” by Ian Thomas Healy

StarfuckerThis is a bit of a strange one. A couple of months ago, Jefferson Smith put Starf*cker through his Immerse or Die review process and it survived the full forty minutes. For those not aware, Immerse or Die is where Jefferson reads a book on his treadmill and gives the book a strike for any loss of immersion. Something that can easily happen. Three strikes and he stops reading.

He did mention that the book features adult content, but I was in the mood for some adult content, so I picked up a copy. Needless to say, this book has strong language and sexual content.

Starf*cker is about John Irish, a pornstar in his late fifties that’s finding it hard to get work anymore. He’s recruited by an alien that happens to look like a hot redheaded woman to go up and save the Vulvans from extinction. Only his legendary prowess with his member can save them.

So far it’s kind of like Barbarella or Flesh Gordon (note the ‘e’ there). A race of aliens that happen to look like humans and only one “Earthman or Earthwoman” can save them through the power of sex.

The trouble I had, just off the bat, is that the sex is very, very tame. I’m not a big erotica reader, but when something has the ‘f’ word in the title, I expect something explicit. This mostly has scenes on the level of, “and then they had sex” or “and then they made love”. There are some descriptions of fluids, but most of it is left unsaid.

So how about the story then? It could still have a strong story anyway. After all, I’ll make all kinds of allowances for science-fiction, ranking things higher than they might deserve if they have cool stuff in them. Unfortunately, Starf*cker just has the standard sci-fi tropes of spaceships, laser guns and swords.

The plot, as well, left something to be desired. While it moved along briskly at the start, once up in the stars it seemed like the author didn’t know where to take the story. It suffered a lot from “and then” syndrome, where scenes just happen one after another, without any cause and effect involved. There were plenty of scenes that I felt could have been cut entirely without losing anything from the book.

That’s the negatives, but on the plus side, the author has a very readable style. The book was easy to read and easy to visualise. I liked the idea of an older person being the hero. I also liked the concept of a pornstar saving the universe.

Overall, Starf*cker just needed to pick one thing to do better. If it had had stronger sex scenes, it might have worked as erotica. If it had had more original ideas, they might have been cool enough to keep me going. Or if it had had a more coherent plot, I would have enjoyed this.

I can see why the book passed Jefferson’s Immerse or Die. It is very well written, but it just didn’t work for me. I give Starf*cker two out of five stars (3/5 on Amazon), meaning that it was okay.

You can pick up a copy of Starf*cker on Amazon here.


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